A new post is well overdue, but something just wouldn't allow me to force it out. I don't write without intention. I don't write when I'm not inspired. And as you've probably noticed, I don't write for the sake of publishing new blog posts. It has to feel right. I have to WANT to do it.
It's May 18, 2017- 8 weeks since I turned 20. I didn't have any real expectations of what that would feel like. Actually, I don't remember being able to tie my mood to any single emotion at all, but I guess that's the gag with entering your twenty's huh? In the days leading up to my birthday, I figured I would write a typical, happy-go-lucky "20 things" type of post, but that clearly was not the case.
That's not what I felt then. That's not what I feel right now.
What I feel more than anything is indifferent; In everything that I do, and with everything around me. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, it's difficult sometimes, but I keep going. In reflecting on and celebrating 20 years of life, I've come to appreciate that discomfort by shifting the lens on the ways in which I view things.
No matter how much we want to coast through life, it'll always be an uphill climb. There is always a new problem to solve, another dilemma puzzling our minds, another mini crisis to deal with throughout the day. When the world around me seems to be spinning and I'm standing in the middle of chaos, I keep these thoughts somewhere in the back of my head.
trust the process.
Every unfortunate circumstance, unsettling mishap, obstacle, and bump in the road prepares us for what is to come. I'm almost certain that sometimes you feel as if all odds are stacked against you. You don't know why you go through half of the things that you do, and -speaking from experience- you probably won't understand until you reach your final destination. But that's the beauty of the journey. It humbles you. It brings things out of you that only failure can surface.
What's important is that despite your shortcomings, you keep going. Be angry, cry about it, complain all you want, but you can't stop. You don't know how close you are to your breakthrough.
In facing trying times and difficult situations, I remind myself that I am exactly where I need to be, when I need to be there. The burden of life is a little less to carry when you learn to truly appreciate every aspect of it. Take the good with the bad and understand that where you are now, is not where you will end. Remember, God wouldn't bring you TO it if he didn't plan on bringing you THROUGH it- meaning that he will see to it that you are well equipped with the strength that you need to endure the storm. You were built for this.
keep your head.
Just breathe. Frantic minds make poor decisions. You can't get to where you're going with clouded vision. More often times than not, our problems aren't as complex or complicated as we make them out to be. Pick apart all of the fluff, and get down to the root of whatever is causing trouble. Is it something you can control? If so, do what you can to fix it. If not, move on. There's no need to dwell on things that you can't change. That's wasted time and energy. Focus instead, on finding your peace in the midst of chaos.
Looking on the bright side is easier said than done. You have to make positivity a habit with everything that you do. It's like a training exercise for your mind, it takes conscious effort. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Your mindset is what get's you halfway there. Believe that you can, and you will. Negativity and pessimism will set you up for failure every time. They are the things that tell you that you're not good enough and constantly hold you back. You have no room for them on your journey.
Babies can't wrap their heads around the concepts of hot and cold. It isn't until they touch a hot iron that they learn to not do it again. Experience is the best teacher, but you won't have those experiences until you LIVE. Allow yourself to fail, over and over again. If you come up short, at least you can say that you took a step forward. Focus on the progress, not perfection.
Struggle and growth go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. Every next level of your life requires a new and refined version of yourself, and you won't get there without bumping your head a few times. My Dad always tells me, "Tough times don't last, tough people do." You have to understand that the trouble you face was sent to make you a stronger, better version of who you were before, not to break you down or cause any harm. Hard times are inevitable, so it's not a matter of avoiding these situations, because they'll always find you. What matters, is that you live your life being the best version of YOU; not someone else, not who the people around you think you ought to be.
The ultimate end-goal is happiness. You will bump your head, you will collect a few scratches and bruises along the way, but that's okay. Realize the lesson in every situation, good or bad, and make sure that you're growing through the process.
x o x o,